The Answer

Guys sorry for not updating any new stories . If there are people reading my blog i just have to say thank you . I did wrote that after ending my SPM there will be excitement in my life . Yes , i do have fun & i had my ups & down . So far the things I've already accomplish were going to prom on the 14 of December . I guess i will wrote & tell you guys my previous time i had . I can't believe its gonna be 2012 :) Well prom was one of the moment where we seniors gather for the final day as a group & family . It was held at Hilton Hotel . My date ? Haha.... i was gonna bring a girl that i had crush on but i didn't . I brought my cousin Allysha & both of us had our time there . I'm not being force to bring her or what , its my decision . I feel like i should share with her the feeling of having prom together . Well I'm a gentlemen so no lies to the girl i like , i bravely & honestly tell her that I'm not bringing her instead my cousin . She's cool with it & thank me for being honest :) I feel happy she understands . Why bringing your cousin as date ? Its lame ? Guys prom is not about bringing dates or hot girl , its about having fun with the people you love like friends & family . Its good to share your happiness . Yes , i dyed my hair & bought a RM700 suit . Nothing fancy . Cha had bought her's earlier at Penang . In fact both of us and our sisters and bro had a fucking awesome day before prom . They came to KL like 4 days before prom so we had fun . Again , I'm sorry I didn't post any pics of it that time . You guys read the tittle " The Answer " , I will get to it . Prom was actually quite dull for me . Yes , there were dance & all . When i check my photos in Facebook i realize my picture was little only . Well i don't give a fuck . After finish dancing , i did cry & feel confuse about LIFE . That's where i want to find the answer . I realize even though i had fun with my siblings , i get angry , sad , confuse easily . I can't really control myself . I went out from the ballroom & did actually cried a bit in front of my cousin sis . You see i had some things going on my mind . I fail 3 times in my computer test for my driving license . I feel insecure & more . My mind keep on saying there's no need to have FAMILY & FRIENDS . I couldn't really think . How I get my answer ? Well i did met one of my tuition friend . I hadn't met him for 1 1/2 year & he kinda feel what i feel so i express myself & talk to him . Yes , i don't need friends but if i talk to myself people gonna think I'm crazy or something . I was like at the end of life but there is a new begging i have to find . After meeting him , i did what i had to do .I get up rise back to the occasion & get myself up . I divided my time & do things that I've wanted to do . This time all about me , no friends , no family , no help . I succeed . I pass my test get my L license . Next year , I'm gonna start practice driving . 1 reason I'm down is , i kinda let my little cousin bro down . He wanted me to drive badly so we both can hang out all night long but i fail constantly . Yes , yes i hate defeat , i hate losing , i hate failing . That's why i can't except myself . I fail to keep my promise . He won't feel anything but i do . Besides driving , there more things going on . I constantly crying on night , i feel as if I'm all alone already . Actually i don't mind being all alone without love ones . Why love them if they hate you or don't appreciate you . Now i realize , without them all along , i wouldn't be the guy today . Is true what my sis told me , I am independence but once in a while you do need help . Help from them to be closer to you . In fact , i feel like I'm the one who is dividing myself apart from them . After getting myself straight , i feel better . Now , i do things one by one . Most of my mates are going to national service this January , tomorrow they want me to hang out with them :) What else , Foster The People is coming soon . So as Avril Lavigne , my favorite single female singer . I'm going to Japan on the February . I realize , i don't reach the ending yet . My ending is when i lose my final breath . Other kids are starting their school life as usual . Me ? I still have 3 month left . 1st of January 2012 i will rock the floor at Gurney Drive , Penang to celebrate the new year revolution . I have so many things to do & share with you guys . Now is 28/12/11 , I'm sitting here chilling thinking to be better everyday & use my life to the fullest . No more crying , no more anger issues & no more confusion . I will be the Midzi who is the happy go lucky son of a bitch that people recognize . The answer for me will be , " No matter how far & strong you are , there will be people still loving you strongly & expect you to love them even more " . Maybe they won't read this but Cha , Man , Eina , Ain , Khaireen :3 , i want to see you guys & spend time more with you guys . Is it ok with you guys ? Yours truly , Haseo :) 

P.S - I'm not dying , I just find myself back :D Catch you guys later .